On June 14th, Nancy Whatley-Blaine spoke about how to confront and proactively dismantle the elephant in the room. What Nancy meant by the elephant in the room is the unspoken confrontations that we deal with at the work place or at home. Whether its a coworker not holding their own or someone not being respectful of your personal space, dealing with these issues constructively is critical. If you don’t deal with them correctly, the problem could multiply; and not dealing with them at all creates the atmosphere where the negativity that surrounds that issue could permeate into all other interactions with the other person. Some helpful hints that Nancy shared are:
- Searchlight the source – Focus on the real problem at hand. It is common for people to use the opportunity to target all the issues that they may have with someone or to target the person themselves. Focus on the behavior, not the person.
- Prepare the way – Run through the whole conversation, beforehand, in your mind. This helps to keep you on task and to take emotions out of equation.
- Look for the missing choice – We often think that there may only be one or two options for solving the problem, when in fact there may be a third or more options available. Take time to analyze the situation and think outside the box to discover what all the available options are.
- “Is that helpful?” – To evaluate those options, always ask yourself “is that helpful?” before going through with it. Many times what we think will happen, doesn’t because we don’t consider the ramifications from the other persons perspective. Make sure that the option is constructive and will accomplish what needs to change.
- Trust the process – We often leave things alone simply because we don’t want to deal with confrontation or are afraid of the potential ramifications. This can only lead to greater headaches.
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